If that was your dad, he is hot
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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