dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
