Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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