man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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