Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Randomize
