I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
