I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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