yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
operation have a gay friend backfired
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
