there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
