Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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