I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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