he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have tasted many bathrooms
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
