shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
