My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
