new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
