I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
