There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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