How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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