I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
