You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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