Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont even know how to be here
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
