How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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