Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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