Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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