Jerry, you need to find god
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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