I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
