dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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