I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
please come you make the beer taste better
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize