Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize