ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
