it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
