How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
