If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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