Ambien. No doubt about it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
