He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
