is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
