he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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