U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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