If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
