I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
