no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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