He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
