I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
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Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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