Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the day after is always just damage control
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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