pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
