covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
