You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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