her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
