Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
