Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
