i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In other news, I just burned my penis
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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