Soap is not a condiment
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
