Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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