I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
