oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize