theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
