There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
