at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
