sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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