Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
