what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
