I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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