this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.