We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry