the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The ass gains better be worth it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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